Building Self-Esteem in Marriage

Sacrificial Love

Romans 5:7-8 (New King James Version)

For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward
us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ loved the church by giving himself for it. This was the strongest love that has ever been evinced in this world. It follows, that a husband or wife is in no danger of loving their spouse too much, provided they be not loved more than God.

As he gave himself to suffer on the cross to save the church, so we are to be willing to deny ourselves and to bear toil and trial, that we may promote the happiness of our spouse.

It is the duty of the husband to toil for her support; to provide for her wants; to deny himself of rest and ease, if necessary, in order to attend on her in sickness; to go before her in danger; to defend her if she is in peril; and to be ready to die to save her.

We are to make the love which Christ had for the church the model. Christ cared about our self esteem, which is why he gave us his image to follow and to conform after. There is no partiality with God. He makes us have worth. He brings to us a sense of value and sense of being cared for.

Marriage relationship is not about me

John 13:34 (New King James Version)

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is “self”. In marriage two are one, that is, two become one flesh. The wife is the body of the husband, even as the church is the body of Christ. The husband is to be governed by this principle that his wife is part of himself, not two but one.

Everyone has good and bad points. Seek to understand and not to be understood. Listen and don’t interrupt, do not nag, and don’t jump to conclusions, disagree respectively. Do not criticize your spouse or your children and do not degrade your spouse or child. We should not devalue our spouse or child, but we should pray for them and be kind to one another.

Learn to value others

1 Corinthians 7:23 (New Living Translation)

God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.

Because God paid a high price to bring his people to himself, he has complete authority over their lives. True value comes from God. To value yourself or someone else, they need a clear understanding of humility. Humility is not putting oneself down.

The more they work at valuing others, the greater freedom people feel to value themselves for who they are in God’s sight. Help your spouse and children to value their positive points and appreciate the gifts God has given them.